


The Kobra Kid

by threecheersfortheblackparade



Series: Cassette Tapes From The Zones [1]
Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Kinda, Substance Abuse, i dont rlly know, ig, uhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:55:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28429650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threecheersfortheblackparade/pseuds/threecheersfortheblackparade
Summary: the kobra kids life in a playlist
Series: Cassette Tapes From The Zones [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082357
Kudos: 6





	The Kobra Kid

**Author's Note:**

> pronouns:  
> he/xe (kobra)  
> they/them (party)  
> he/she (ghoul)  
> star/stars (jet)  
> she/it (mellon collie)  
> [ full playlist is here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2ghJaIQQcLfZwArEgyYQeQ)

**Happy House, Siouxsie And The Banshees**

On the 23rd of the sixth, at exactly 22:34:505, The Kobra Kid was born, to a rich and successful father, and a rich and successful mother, and a sibling too young to be either. 

However, xeir parents were busy living their rich and successful lives, and so xe was raised by a team of silent, interchangeable, and- as they were regularly reminded- easily replaceable staff, whilst xeir sibling watched with glazed over eyes and sometimes whispered tales of a world outside. 

* * *

**Experiment IV, Kate Bush**

And then, a few weeks after he turned six, a man in a white suit, flanked by two other people wearing masks, turned up at their door and asked to see his father. 

They talked for a few hours, whilst kobra waited anxiously outside the door with party, looking like a picture-perfect family. The two of them were pressed against the heavy oak door, unable to hear anything, and there they waited until father sent party to go and fetch mother, and xe was dragged into the room. 

There was something about credits, and a mention of ‘they’ll come and visit you soon’, and then xe was whisked away in a Bl/Ind official van and taken to a gleaming, white place filled with numbers, and letters, and  _ computers _ , and so it began.

He was a ‘child prodigy’, claimed the people in lab coats, with clipboards, and fancy badges, and a penchant for slipping vodka into their coffee. Xe wasn’t sure what that meant, only that it was a good thing, in the way that adults said bad things were. At first, mother and father visited him every second sunday, in their finest outfits, and they would talk to the lady in charge whilst party pulled faces from behind a thick glass screen. Eventually, they came less and less, and even party stopped coming to visit. 

And so xe decided to forget about them, forget everything they told xem, everything they ever did. He threw himself into his work- weaponizing music, turning the dangerous and unpredictable into something that could be used to protect them against the rebels who threatened their lives. Xe didn’t stop to think, didn’t allow any room for doubt, just worked and worked until one day the scientist meant to be escorting xem to their room threw off their coat, and turned, and grinned, and the two of them ran into the desert, and became Party Poison and The Kobra Kid.

* * *

**Bad, U2**

The Venom Siblings. Thats what they’re known as, infamous for their way of living hard and fast and glamorous and never stopping. Its not like that, though- the fun is just a facade. Its endless nights of puking your guts out behind the diner, and wondering what you took, and endless days of hiding from the world around outside and trying not to think. He’s worried about his sibling, and his life, and himself, but he drowns out those thoughts before they can take hold. One day xe’ll have to stop, either in death or life (xe doesn’t care) but xe tries not to think of that. That’s why he does this, after all. So xe doesn’t have to think.

One day, kobra wakes up in an unfamiliar place, and for a minute he thinks he’s died.

It turns out to be the van of a desertborn called Ghoul, who works as a medic. She tells xem xe could have died, and worse, so could have party.

That night, the two of them work their way through all the coffee in the house, and try to pretend they’re okay, whilst ghoul and his friend Jet watch them with sorrowful, pitying eyes, and do their best to distract them.

They don't make it that day, but they’ve got tomorrow, and kobra thinks he might not mind living after all.

* * *

**It Feels Like I’m In Love, Kelly Marie**

He’s been zone runner for a few years when he gets his first crush. (In xyr defence, theres not much opportunity for crushes when you spend most of your life in a lab surrounded by identical middle aged scientists). 

He doesn’t know their name, but he watches them from afar as they work in one of the underground bars, and every night he spends what little he has on getting a drink just so he can see them for a bit longer. Xe thinks about them constantly- much to the amusement of xeir long-suffering sibling. Its kind of scary, how quickly he’s fallen, but its kind of exhilarating too, and he just can’t seem to stop seeing reminders of them everywhere.

Then one day they come over, and casually as anything, sit next to xem at Spider’s makeshift cafe, and xeir heart is beating so hard in xeir chest xe have to keep glancing over to make sure they can’t hear it. They’re nice and kind and funny, and he goes home still laughing.

The Kobra Kid should’ve known it was too good to last.

* * *

**Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me, The Smiths**

After a couple of weeks of ‘dates’, xe decides xe wants party to meet xem- they’re xeir only relative (mother and father hadn’t earned the title of family). He’s full of nervous excitement at introducing his two favourite people to each other, and spends longer than he should trying to choose what to make for dinner.

Unfortunately, it goes to shit. They turn up, drunk, with a guy on their arm, and, upon seeing party, proceed to come up with a range of slurs and curses that never seems to end. 

The situation is quickly resolved when they collapse on the floor, leaving the two siblings to drag them outside. Neither say a word until its done.

Kobra is heartbroken, and spends the next couple of weeks crying and listening to the smiths on a loop, whilst party awkwardly tries to comfort xem. They meet newsie whilst trying to get their hands on a copy Bridget Jones’ Diary, and fae offers to come round with ice cream and bitch about how shitty people are, which kobra happily takes up. By the time party gets back from chimps place (they always wanted to try and host a radio show for a bit), the two are good friends, and xeir almost glad They were an asshole.  _ Almost _ .

* * *

**I’ll Be There For You, The Rembrandts**

They’re all living in the diner now, kobra, party, jet, ghoul, and the motorbaby who doesn’t have a name yet. Its fun, but more than that- its safe. They spend most of the day working; fixing up their new home, or selling stuff at the markets with show pony’s help. But in the evening, they all go home, and its  _ weird _ , belonging somewhere, and they mess around in the kitchen until jet kicks them out, and then party will tell one of their stories like they did when they were kids, and then xe will pull out all the blankets xe’ve been sewing, and its just so  _ happy _ . Its not just him, he knows- party’s started laughing again, and the two desertborns are constantly singing songs from their childhoods, and kobra’s never felt so safe, and its  _ amazing _ .

It makes it running away worthwhile.

* * *

**Jet Star And The Kobra Kid // The Traffic Report**

He’s sitting in the diner, alone, while jet’s outside teaching motorbaby about destroya. She’s only five, but its important to star, so they let it pass. 

The radio suddenly crackles into life, and through the static, kobra can hear the words.

_ Bad news from the zones, tumbleweeds. It looks like Jet-Star and the Kobra Kid had a clap with an Exterminator that went all Costa Rica, and uh, got themselves ghosted, dusted out on Route Guano- _

Xe fumbles with the device, and quickly turns it off. He doesn’t need to hear anymore.

Its wrong, xe knows that, but it doesn’t stop xem shaking slightly as they put on xeir sunglasses. This is how he’ll be remembered, Not in glory, or with fondness, but mentioned in passing between 80s hour and the traffic. 

Sure, xe knew xe weren’t exactly famous but this-

It put it all into perspective, in a way. His life was insignificant; he would die, and that would be it. For all they fought against Bl/Ind, none of them could ever win- and, xe realised, that was probably why they were all still alive. They were never gonna win. Better to let them tire themselves out fighting, killing themselves off believing in a hopeless, capitalised rebellion.

Kobra doesn’t move from that corner of the room until ghoul and party get back. Xeir sibling takes one look at xeir face, and xe can see recognition in xeir eyes, as they drag him into an empty room and the two of them just sit there, and talk. They talk about big things, like the revolution, and death, and their parents back in bat city, and small things, like their friends, and the concerts they’ve been to, and the cds they’ve managed to find, and its the first time they’ve properly talked in  _ forever _ , and he finds he doesn’t mind it. (Although, if he has to hear about Misfits one more time, he’s gonna riot.)

* * *

**Halloween**

Its Cherri who introduces them to the concept of ‘Halloween’. A kind of celebration, he says, where you dress up as horror film creatures, and eat shit loads of snake tails like a little kid. 

They wanna make the girls first halloween the best one ever.

This year they have a variety of costumes; party’s going as a dead bride (he didn’t ask; jet as freddie kruger; ghoul as a zombie drac; and the girl as a letterbox. Well, at least she tried.

He himself was planning on going as medusa, snakes and all. 

They’re all standing outside the diner, as Mellon Collie (dressed as beetlejuice), takes too many bad quality photos. Most of them are of the girl- she  _ is  _ very cute- but it manages to get a decent amount of group pictures, which allows them all to show off their costumes. 

Out of the corner of xeir eye, xe can see a figure surrounded by swirling shadows. It tilts it head curiously, and then disappears.

Kobra offers a quick prayer to the witch, and then turns back to the conversation.

**Author's Note:**

> okay i was kinda hesitating on posting this cause its shitty and i wrote it at 6am whilst trying not to sh but who cares imma just post it anyway  
> pls leave comments n kudos if you likes this xx


End file.
